Today, dating can be a bit challenging. Especially when you have not been in the field for a while. Even though dating apps have tried to simplify the dating scene, getting a person to commit to you alone from a dating platform where they may have had a lot of options can be quite tricky. It is therefore important for you to have a working set of rules that can guide your journey to finding your perfect match.
The first rule is to ensure that you date a few people simultaneously. Before being in a committed relationship with one person, give yourself the opportunity to date a few people simultaneously. This is because the more options you have, the slimmer your chances of being disappointed if your potential partner loses interest in you and goes on with their other options. To avoid disappointment, ensure that you do not overly extend yourself in getting to know one person. Have different options.
Second rule is to ensure that your dates are reasonably brief. Do not plan dates that will require you to spend more than an hour together. This is because an hour is long enough for you to have a meaningful conversation that lets you know what the other person is all about and get a sense of whether you are compatible or not. An hour is also reasonable enough in avoiding you having too many expectations from the other party after the date. Spending three hours with someone and them not contacting you ever again would be emotionally draining like a breakup, therefore, the less time spent before committing to a relationship with someone, the better.
On the more serious end, you need to be absolutely honest about what you are looking for. If you are looking for a casual relationship, say so. If you are looking for a serious relationship, be honest from the beginning. This is one of the most important things you need to be straight up about. This will save you both the time, energy, effort and heartache that could potentially be wasted on someone who is looking for something different.
One mistake that people usually make is talking about their exes. Do not talk about exes in the first few dates you have. These dates should be dedicated to knowing one another better and measuring compatibility, not talking about your pasts. You can talk about your pasts after knowing each other a bit better and being interested in potentially making the specific person the chosen option. But the first three or so dates need to be easy going and free of exes.
On the more contentious side of things, when it comes to the text that people usually send after the date, it is debatable whether you should send it or not. There are people of the opinion that it is modest to send a thank you text to the person you went on a date with, but the debate also comes in terms of who should send it. Whether it should be the guy or the girl (assuming it was a heterosexual date), it is debatable. But really, before leaving, if you thank them right there and then, there should be no necessity to thank them again when you get home.
After the first date, do not be in a rush to plan a second date. Do not let excitement run the show, regardless of you having enjoyed their company and the date. Give it a few days to think about your compatibility. Also, do not expect the other person to quickly reach out as well. They may also be needing some time to think things through. Give them up to a week. If the whole week passes without any communication from them, please do not hold your breath, swiftly move on to the next option. This may be a sign that they are not interested anymore.
A very important element is to wait before indulging in any sexual activities with this person. It is important to know someone enough before deciding that they are the best option for you and that you two are compatible. In the similar sense, it is important to know whether you two are compatible and agree to be exclusive before engaging in sexual activities. This is because you do not want to feel used if they decide after sleeping with you that you are not compatible. The longer you can hold off, the better. It is better to be intimate and get attached to someone who you are in a relationship with, not someone who has not yet made up their mind about you.
