Different feelings, like-mindedness, and interpersonal relationships create our romantic relationships. Though there are a couple of different things that can affect how a romantic relationship comes about, family relationships have a great impact. How we view things and understand life, our routines, and our confidence in romantic relationships are influenced a lot by our families and how we grow up. Let us look at different ways in which family dynamics can affect romantic relationships and see how people can practically create better relationships.
It is essential that we understand what family dynamics entail in order to see how they affect relationships. The complex interplay roles, relationships and communication in a family are known as family dynamics. Different things influence these dynamics such as cultural, social and personal influences. The kind of family that we have or are born into has a great influence on how we view and understand relationships. The experiences we have earlier on in life influence the experiences we have in relationships. This informs the roles each person plays in the relationship and how we interact with each other.
Our family dynamics can also be informed by the cultural and socioeconomic standing of our families. These relate to how we get to understand gender roles in relationships, what expectations we have in relationships and from our partners and our needs and wants from a relationship and romantic partner. Having experienced unhealthy attachment styles from our childhood, learning unhealthy relationship patterns can negatively influence how we view relationships in the future. Unresolved traumatic experiences influence our ability to form healthy and stable relationships.
Attachment styles are a big way in which our family dynamics influence our romantic relationships. The attachment theory says that the kind of relationship that one forms with their primary caregiver when they are young greatly influences the kind of bonds and attachment they will form in their romantic relationships when they grow up. Having unhealthy family dynamics leads to having attachment issues, like having an insecure, anxious or avoidant attachment style in a relationship. Your ability to form a bond and trust in a relationship with your partner is influenced by your attachment style.
How you communicate as a person is greatly influenced by the way your family communicates, you therefore take on the communication style that your family has. If your family modeled healthy communication patterns to you, you will most likely apply these in your relationships as well. Unfortunately, if you were exposed to unhealthy communication patterns growing up then you will most likely also display these unhealthy communication styles in your relationships and this will impact your ability to communicate effectively in relationships.
Your ability to handle conflicts is shaped by your family dynamics. How your family dealt with conflicts will show in how you address conflicts in your romantic relationships. If there was avoidance or aggression, this modeled behavior will come into play in your own relationship. Unlearning these unhealthy communication techniques can be challenging but it is possible and will benefit the relationship.
In learning to manage family dynamics and their impact on relationships, it is important that you become self-aware. You need to know and understand your attachment style, your communication patterns and your expectations in a relationship. You need to train yourself to be able to communicate your needs and desires in a relationship. Be willing to discuss your family experiences with your partner. This will give both of you a better understanding of each other and teach you how to better deal with one another in a healthy manner that supports each other’s weaknesses.
You should also be open to seeking professional help. This will help you address your family dynamics that impacted your understanding of relationships. It can also help you learn better communication and conflict resolution skills that will strengthen your relationship. While working on yourself and your ability to form healthy relationships, it is also important to create healthy boundaries. These will protect both you and the relationship. Set clear and specific limits.
Empower yourself through reading relevant books, attending seminars and doing practical research on how to create healthy and fulfilling relationships with others. You can unlearn unhealthy patterns and learn new healthy ones. Even though our family dynamics influence our relationships, it is possible to improve ourselves and learn healthy behaviours.
